Thursday, March 22, 2012

What's with China's clock?!!

Iam a princess and Iam floating on a magic carpet to receive my Nobel prize for peace…No No No… you are mistaken…. Iam not Princess Diana, or Mother Teresa for that matter - this scene is just an out of the world dream in the wee morning hours of Monday, as the human body labors under the misconception that the weekend lethargy and laziness can seep stealthily onto Monday as well.
Aaaaaaaaaah!! Wish dreams came true!!!!
And then piercing the silence comes a well loved desi tone – My name is Sheila, Sheila Ki Jawani….
&%$$*!!!That’s my alarm!!! I can’t BELIEVE it’s already gone off! I chose this particular song because whenever this song is in the background, my legs start dancing all of their own accord! And I masterfully conceived that I would be able to break my slumber if I was caught with a desire to do a two step or a salsa (not that Iam adept at neither)….. But well - So much for my masterful conceptions! At this rate - Like Leslie Winkle says on the TBBT – I might just be nominated in the year’s Nobel laurete category for Dumb assery ...Ummm...lesser intelligence! (TBBT – a well loved sitcom called “The Big Bang Theory” – one of my favorites, next in line to F.R.I.E.N.D.S of course!)

They never are effective my dear!!
Anyways, I finally pinched and poked myself awake and rushed to get ready because, in China, - work starts - at 9:00am. And when you read the previous sentence, I want you to imagine something unchangeable like destiny, or the earth revolving , or the fact that my neighbour’s son can NEVER pass his medical exam (Trust me, rumor has it that it’s his 6th attempt)…because when they say its 9:00am - 9:00am it is! If you have the balls guts, try entering at 9:01 am and brave the “How lazy are YOU?” stares that your disdainful colleagues will inevitably give you! Well, some days, I really don’t care – and I stare back at them with my “Ha! Iam lazy and proud of it!” look, but then mostly, I cower under their glare and run to the sanctuary of my seat, where I immediately open my laptop and start tapping away at my keyboard furiously to deflect attention from my BEETRED face! I seriously should think of taking a video of their stares and adding that to my alarm settings…maybe that would jerk me awake!
Oh yeah- Something like this but REDDERRRR!

And it’s not just the entry time, it applies for everything. I am a part of the lunch gang and we go out every day at 12:00noon for lunch, irrespective of whether the laptop’s on fire, or whether a member of our gang is delivering a baby (and that actually happened! – we went to visit the mom but wouldn’t stay beyond 11:45 am!!!). I think, if you look at the larger picture, it kinda makes scientific sense - it permeates one’s cerebral tissues and leads to a comfortable consciousness that one’s life is a continuum where the clock ticks away uniformly through eventual decline and decay, so the intelligent Chinese made an ally of time instead of taking it for granted and I don’t grudge them this achievement!

The only disadvantage that I see in this whole scheme of things is that on weekends, Iam rather bewildered because my body clock (to which I have been listening to sincerely through the week) goes CRAZY! When I jerk myself awake at around 12:00 noon on Saturday, it’s not because of the alarm but because of the volcano erupting within my stomach – trust me , it growls so! I then quickly think of a place to eat and rush out of my apartment, desperate to be within view of some edible food (which explains why I cant cook because then it wouldnt be edible), and hail a taxi! And HERE comes the REAL test of patience….to tell the guy where you wanna go! Below is a faithfull narrative of what happened on one of my “Lunch escapades”

Me - (running across the road to be on the right side to hail the taxi and hence out of breath)(Puffing and panting and frantically waving my hands), “Taxxxxxiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii”!!!!

Taxi Driver (Bewildered) : “Chou shang chin mou than ching choo!!!”

Me - (Equally bewildered) “Chinese Puhwai ( I don’t know Chinese) . I have to go to ‘Daning street’ ” (Said in Clear and crisp tones)

Taxi Driver - (Completely befuddled)“ Daning? Shama – daning chiga moui chou shang shun ma thee oolu:” (Indicating he dosent have a clue what Iam saying)
Me – (accompanied with the background music of my grumbling stomach) “ D A N I N G, D-A-N-I-N-G, DANING street” (said 1st- clearly and slowly, 2nd -clearly and fast, and 3rd - clearly in medium speed with nasal effect respectively)

Taxi Driver - (Looking warily towards the direction of my stomach from where all the growling is originating from) “ DANING? Shama? " (starts shaking his head indicating he dosent know what Iam talking about)

Me - (in total desperation as my stomach threatens to erupt with all the pent up fury) " DANING DANING DANING street ma - !!!! Don’t you Understand??"

Taxi Driver - (face sparkles like he has discovered the 119th element ) “Oooooooooh DANING ma? Ok Ok” (indicates that I could board the taxi)

Me - (with a murderous look..Aaaaaah - if only looks could kill!) “ Yeah! And what the %^& did you think I was trying to tell you all this time? “

Taxi Driver : (Jovially slapping his hands and laughing, like at some rib tickler) “ DANING ma – chiga chous mang sthing so luu” !!!!!!! (and shakes my hands)!!!!

Well… what can I say – except that they do NOT accept a word into their comprehension unless they have the satisfaction of decoding it from whatever latin/greek they think you are speaking! And Trust me - what I said was in NO WAY different to what he said! Not in accent, not in nasal effects and not in rate of speech!!! You can imagine the fervor and speed with which I inhaled the food (Spicy noodles with stewed vegetables Thai style) when I eventually reached the hotel after this adventure! 
Stay Tuned - More adventures coming right up:-)...

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Courage to achieve happiness - An Egoists privilege?

I think it was somwehere between the ages of 13 and 20 that I was given to understand, categorically, by anyone whose opinion I cared to respect, that "Ego" is certainly not one of the virtues of human kind. That being selfless, and crushing one's ego such that it merges with the universal will should actually be the spiritual aim of one's life.

And then, I read "Fountain head" by Ayn Rand. !!

The story of the exalted nature of man's self in all expressions ranging from self respect, self esteem, self worth, self contempt and personal dignity jolted me out of any conventional values that I have upheld for the last 2 decades!

"As a matter of fact, the person who loves everybody and feels at home everywhere is the true hater of mankind. He expects nothing of men, so no form of depravity can outrage him"

Such an outburst of refreshing philosohphy at a time too when the world's most well known men are judged by their "uselfullness" to the society measured by their charitable contributions and alrtuistic motives! This complete worship given to the individual man and to his ability to contribute something of his own taste to the world, not as a work of charity, not as a sign of selflessness, but as a work of self expression, as an expression of the drive within him because of which he finds it unable to resist his own creative thirst, as a tribute to the best within himself, and as a token of respect to his own self worth, makes me feel so liberated, because I KNOW now, that to be able to do what you really want to do, takes the greatest amount of courage and unless you think yourself worthy of nothing but the highest happiness, you might not have the courage to give yourself that happiness.

The book certainly requires a level of maturity to be able to grasp the essentials and ignore the extremist notions as literary license. It lays bare a series of controversial ideas boldly, without an apology, without inhibitions or hesitation, much like Vidya Balan's performance in "The Dirty Picture".

I can only imagine the supreme self worth that one should possess to charter one's life's journey to the ultimate goal - "The truth". Albert Eintein, Isaac Newton,William Wordsworth and even Steven Speilberg made it their life's business to embrace that very elusive "Truth" through an expression of their creativity or scientific prowess! None of them started out to serve their fellow men, but one cannot refute that their contributions to the society are amongst the most humungous!  And I cannot help but remember Aamir Khan's dialogue in 3 idiots where he says " Dont go behind success, go behind excellence and then success will fight to follow you!!!"

I questioned myself on the theory that being an egoist automatically translates into arrogance and a lack of consideration for others. But then look at it this way....an egoist is also one who considers himself so above comparison with his fellow beings, that he is spared the lesser emotions of jealousy, hatred and envy. He is some one who is the symbol of nothing else save himself. He is the one who, at the end of his life, would be comfortable with the consciousness that he would not have the protective cloak of "concern / consideration for others", to explain away the wrong decisions of his life. He answers to none but himself and since he owes himself nothing but the highest truth, is beyond the necessity to lie, cheat and decieve himself for any of his ends. And neither would he stoop to conquer!

SUCH an exalted respect for self may be completely devoid of pity or sympathy,emotions which lack of respect in their momentary consciousness.  But it elevates one to feel no emotions which lacks respect for one's fellowmen, as they challenge his ego - through their own creative intelligence! This could be the highest tribute that one man can pay to another! The emotion, the secret force, which is probably the reason behind why the competitors in any meaningfull pursuit, also think of themselves as comrades in arms!

I remember a great speech where the orator stumbled onto a particularly precious line when he said that one hears about "falling" in love all the time! When do you think we will start "rising" in love?

Given below are 2 of my favourite excerpts from the book - and I hope my readers find my need to express these words here justified, as they relate to the import of the dialogues below -

1 - “The egotist is the absolute sense is not the man who sacrifices others. He is the man who stands above the need of using others in any manner. He does not function through them. He is not concerned with them in any primary matter. Not in his aim, not in his motive, not in his thinking, not in his desires, not in the source of his energy. He does not exist for any other man—and he asks no other man to exist for him. This is the only form of brotherhood and mutual respect possible between men."

2 -" No, he thought, I regret nothing. There have been things I missed, but I ask no questions, because I have loved it, such as it has been, even the moments of emptiness, even the unanswered–and that I loved it, *that* is the unanswered in my life. But I loved it.
“If it were true, that old legend about appearing before a supreme judge and naming one’s record, I would offer, with all my pride, not any act I committed, but one thing I have never done on this earth: that I never sought an outside sanction. I would stand and say: I am Gail Wynand, the man who has committed every crime except the foremost one: that of ascribing futility to the wonderful fact of existence and seeking justification beyond myself. This is my pride: that now, thinking of the end, I do not cry like all the men of my age: but what was the use and the meaning? *I* was the use and meaning, I, Gail Wynand. That I lived and that I acted."

I have not read this book - I have felt it and lived it. While there are some irrational and impractical notions that I have endeavoured to neglect owing to the overall brilliance of Ayn Rand's performance, reading the book felt like a gift to myself, and a certain step towards self discovery!