Saturday, May 2, 2015

Weight of vulnerability














The above are quotes from the widely acclaimed TED talk of Brene Brown on the power of vulnerability.  Armed with her research of over six years, she claims with feeling that to lead a wholesome life, one needs to led down their armor and embrace all aspects of who they are, which would in turn makes it easier for them to be vulnerable to others. Counter intuitive though it seems, vulnerability is the greatest step towards showing courage and being truthful to oneself and to others. This would enable an individual to experience both the  hurt as well as the happiness that comes with being vulnerable.....















I found myself wide eyed and nodding my head along with her as she spoke on. While a lot of what she has to say is indeed inspired and eye opening, there was one aspect that created some  cognitive dissonance within me and I proceeded to do some soul searching myself!
To be vulnerable is to let ourself be seen for who we are without any armor. But we are not born armored. In fact, we are pretty much armor less in the beginning. Our armors are something that we put up after years of friction and struggle.
 Our armors are put up based on our understanding of what works...... and what the world wants.

For someone to be worthy of being privy to the person behind that armor, that someone should also take the effort of tearing down the armor. Piece by piece. And gently too without breaking the heart within the armor.

In fact, this evolutionary process is what gives strength and tenacity to our relationships. It cannot happen overnight and it certainly cannot happen with premature 'vulnerability'. If we are going to be vulnerable with someone who does not value the fact that we are being vulnerable with them, one person's precious vulnerability is just soulless babble to another. Because without a proper foundation in the relationship, the weight of your vulnerability, will fall into a bowl of feathers. And if I don't value my vulnerability enough to place it into the right bowl, can I blame the other person for handing me a bowl of feathers??

That, dear reader, is my question and confusion. What do you think?