A breath of fresh air...

Sometimes it might be lying right in front of our faces and we may fail to recognize it. When life throws certain episodes at us, our visual range gets selective and most often, cynical and dismissive. In these cases, humungous evidence from the farthest quadrant to our presumptions can sometimes fall short to widen our horizons.

I was given such a chance when I started life as a collegiate for the second time. A weather worn, street smart (as I would like to think) and world wise professional, looking for a break from the cares of corporate life. And unexpectedly, life threw such goodness and innocence at me that I was almost not prepared for it. We get so used to question and suspect ulterior motives when so much obvious goodness hits us on the face. And that’s exactly what I was tempted to do when this girl came into my life. Because at her age, with her qualities, there is no reason for someone to be as unsure, insecure and shy as she turned out to be. It was a misplaced sense of less than par self worth. For someone like her to be able to trust and believe in someone like me with that much tenacity was a boon. A boon that acted as a slow balm to wounds that were age old and that helped me to trust the good in this world and to be naïve again.

Sometimes I think she is Lucifer personified due to her astuteness in gauging the deepest desires of people. I wish for her sake and for mine that life doesn’t trick her out of her goodness and naivete that providence has allowed her to nurture all these years. They say goodness lies in not only being able to identify it in others but also in trusting that goodness to stand the test of time. I hope we are able to find that space in which we can be there for each other through years of evolution and growth!

God Bless!

Weight of vulnerability

The above are quotes from the widely acclaimed TED talk of Brene Brown on the power of vulnerability.  Armed with her research of over six years, she claims with feeling that to lead a wholesome life, one needs to led down their armor and embrace all aspects of who they are, which would in turn makes it easier for them to be vulnerable to others. Counter intuitive though it seems, vulnerability is the greatest step towards showing courage and being truthful to oneself and to others. This would enable an individual to experience both the  hurt as well as the happiness that comes with being vulnerable.....

I found myself wide eyed and nodding my head along with her as she spoke on. While a lot of what she has to say is indeed inspired and eye opening, there was one aspect that created some  cognitive dissonance within me and I proceeded to do some soul searching myself!
To be vulnerable is to let ourself be seen for who we are without any armor. But we are not born armored. In fact, we are pretty much armor less in the beginning. Our armors are something that we put up after years of friction and struggle.
 Our armors are put up based on our understanding of what works...... and what the world wants.

For someone to be worthy of being privy to the person behind that armor, that someone should also take the effort of tearing down the armor. Piece by piece. And gently too without breaking the heart within the armor.

In fact, this evolutionary process is what gives strength and tenacity to our relationships. It cannot happen overnight and it certainly cannot happen with premature 'vulnerability'. If we are going to be vulnerable with someone who does not value the fact that we are being vulnerable with them, one person's precious vulnerability is just soulless babble to another. Because without a proper foundation in the relationship, the weight of your vulnerability, will fall into a bowl of feathers. And if I don't value my vulnerability enough to place it into the right bowl, can I blame the other person for handing me a bowl of feathers??

That, dear reader, is my question and confusion. What do you think?

The mystery of the silence

"What the *&^&^%!!! Why cant she say something back!!!" Used to be my reaction when I would watch those tension ridden scenes in Bollywood or Tamil movies where the Hero or the Mom In Law would say something super rude and the heroine would just stare back without a retort. And I would be seething inside! Totally relating myself to the crying Heroine, I would rant and storm about the villanous antagonists who were setting themselves against the leading lady. But I NEVER did understand why the leading lady wouldn't retort with something clever and equally evil! I would be creating my own scripts for the lady (of the hour), and imagining her seeking her verbal revenge on her torturers!
What mystified me even more was why many leading ladies wouldnt speak out even when they had something to say in their defense....something which would prove their innocence in a situation where they were being victimized for something that was not their fault at all. Being a pretty vocal person myself, I could never understand the reason for taking blame, criticization, etc when I didnt have to or when it didnt apply to me.

But off late, I have been seeing a slight change in my own attitudes and behavior. Surprisingly, I found myself in 2 to 3 situations where I was in a position where I had to be silent even when I knew that I could extract myself out of a situation with a few well placed words.I couldnt even express my own deeply felt emotions and feelings and was stuck with them in my throat and staring at my "antagonist" of the hour!!! Noooooooooooo!!! I do NOT want to be THAT lady. I mean, come on! I have spent hours creating clever responses to difficult situations and when the situation presented itself in a silver platter, I was struck dumb!!
For the past 25 years, I have never had a problem expressing exactly what I felt in words. It's one of my gifts. It is one of the similarities I have with a long standing friend of mine. But off late, I found some instances when I couldn't even tell HER some things that were foremost in my mind!!! Wow!! Times do change and so do people!! I never thought I would see the light of the day when I couldn't spout out my mind and share my thoughts exactly as I thought them. Is this part of growing up? is this some emotional growth or (on second thoughts) emotional stunted growth that happens eventually to all people? I don't know. But you know what - it actually feels good to not lay all your peanuts on the plate!! Like your own little personal pearl of thought that you don't have to share, for it may not be perceived the same way and in being perceived differently, may lose some of its eloquence that was present in the thought originally....or just because you don't want to share it....because you don't know how! Iam unable to put my finger on it.....on the feeling that drives this behavior....do you know something about?

Dealing with stuff....

When you have a huge generation gap between ur siblings, you'll know what I mean. WHen they do grow up, you have a second round of adolescence - a second chance to do all the stupid things that you did before or werent bold enough to do!

Now some will take it and let them have their adolescence instead of being the elder sibling telling them what to do and what not to do.....but some will do just that! Now u cant say either way is wrong, one is done with a desire to let them live their life and another is done with a genuine concern...

Is there an optimum approach? I dont know,and I sure dont wanna know....Lets just do our thing right...why does it always have to be the right thing?....sometimes it could just be "my" thing! ...

Dads Girl

I was blog hopping....something I have taken to lately...and I found this
http://www.usmc81.com/2011/12/rules-dating-marines-daughter/

While it was hilarious, I wistfully wish that my country had a similiar cultural structure where the guy-date of the day wears a tux and nervously waits at the door to pick up his girl-date for the day.

As he does so, he is subjected to the merciless inspection of the girl's parents (read above link to know how nerve wracking it can get). This is a cliched scene from every hollywood rom-com, but Iam sure it would be something if it happened to oneself - whether a boy or a girl...what say?!!

Of course, you can have the Indian version, where the boy can come cycling around the house of his sweetheart, trying to catch a glimpse of that beloved face, exchange a look, a smile and that would be his date of the day!! And if the father perchance happened to see this exchange, of course, all hell would break lose!!! There is no question of the boy saying "I will surely bring back your girl before midnight!!"!!!! I can only imagine an Indian father's reaction if any guy said that to the father and requested to take her out for the night!!

Of course times have changed and the Indian Dads have become more relaxed! The next gen girls probably have a chance of experiencing the scenario stated above....But I do wish, that that girl could have been me......maybe my daughter, if I have one, would see that day, and I would pat her head with a mysteriuous smile that she curiously tries to decipher.....well, YOU would know what that smile was about wouldn't you :-)!!

A little bit of this and that!

Now come on!!! Dont tell me you NEVER feel that urge to hurl something at someone and that you are the kind who cruises through life with a smile plastered on your face! That you never feel like buttoxing your BEST friend's nose at times so badly that she just has to get a nose job done! That you never just call someone with an intention to touch a cool casual  nerve and watch with relish and amusement the riot of colors and feelings that come across the line! That you are the kind who dosent in some level dread the day your best friend would get married....coz WHATEVER people may say about their changeless, eternal and evergreen friendships...something sure changes after marriage and I know this first hand so no kidding!

The Blue one is me and the pink one is my friend after her marriage!

I mean, sometimes its just nice to be this mysterious person who glides along with an immaculate self control and always knows how to make an entrance in a gathering that make heads turn! The kind who knows that she wants a lake view room in the 72nd floor of the hotel and pre-books it months in advance. The kind whose mere glance can mean a thousand things and men are floored with just the prospect of trying to remove the layers of meaning in her words! And some times its kinda liberating to be the one who is clueless about stuff , falls flat on her face and mumbles for words in an opening speech, and just stumbles across success and is suddenly gobsmacked with a happiness you never knew you were capable of feeling!The kind who reads Sophie Kinsella's latest bombshell upto 2:00am in the night and when the alarm dosent go up in the morning wakes up causually at 10:30am when she should actually have been in office attending an important life changing "Call". And then frantically fabricates a story about how her neighbors dog bit her on the way to office and so speechless with pain was she that she was hardly able to string 2 words and convey her inability to attend office on time to a seriously concerned boss. (Of course she makes sure to confirm that the dog bit her in an unpublishable area!! Thats Important).

The kind who just made a meticulous budget plan and then to the incredulous shock of all concerned including herself, ends up purchasing a COMPLETELY unnecessary accessory simply because it looked so temptingly inviting in the racks and she COULDNT bear the thought of leaving it orphaned in the shop!

You could be a person who would just be talking with great vigor and intellectual snobbery the great achievements of Steve Jobs and Larry Ellison, the complexity and psychological insight of an Ayn Rand book, the genius in a Kadri Gopalnath performance, the intricacy in a Tanjore painting and the divinity in a Tagore verse. And Bang! In the same breath, you could be talking about the release of Princess's Diaries III, the latest crush of James Mc Avoy, the reigning gossip on next door Padma aunty and her daughter's futile attempts to study medicine, win a "Tyre Race" with the colony kids gang and fight with the neighbors 7 year old son for eating your share of chocolate cake!

If you dissected my thoughts at some point - it would look like this:-)

The beauty and menaninglessness of some of our actions are impressed upon us only when we also know the most meaningful parts of life is, and somehow this knowledge makes the meaningless things much more meaningful,  giving an individual almost a surreal world to live in, from which she could either be pulled into despair or lifted into ecstasy . I mean, I have so often heard people say, wow - what woman of substance!!! -  when they see a woman with a meaningful career and a serene smile on her face gliding past a crowd. Well - I have nothing against the institution of serenity, believe me, but the basic question is, if you have not been able to experience the depths of despair at some point, how can you appreciate the heights of ecstasy??? Like they say, the passion with which you love a friday evening is directly proportional to the hatred with which you face a Monday! The beauty is that we do not have to choose between these polar opposites because if there is something which excites interest in a character - its variety! If you are alone on a rainy Saturday evening with a Mills and Boon in hand, a documentary on carbon dating on the television and a friend online trying to decide a place to hang out during the evening - well.... - Will you be my friend???

Can you keep a secret???

I just read this book by Sophie Kinsella on a 6 hour journey from Genting to Singapore over the weekend and I have this mad and obsessive rush to spill out mine too!!! Dear friend/reader - beware - these secrets might not make a bestseller but they sure are some of the most sacred and close secrets and if you should happen to land on this page and read this - you are hereby bound by an eternal oath of secrecy!

Well - Iam a normal girl and have some small and big secrets - some of which I remember and smile to myself as I write this down.....and amazed at myself for taking this huuuuuge risk...I mean - what of my boss or someone concerned should chance upon this...Iam soooooo screwed - but its ok - whats life if not for a few risks- the risks are what make life worth living right? So here goes -

1) I have faked quite a few faints and illnesses and skived off work (almost once a fortnight)...and I manage to pull it off quite convincingly - I think I might start a profitable venture through a consultancy based on this expertise!

Hahahah- Thats ME - in case you are wondering:-)

 
2) I love wearing short skirts to sleep
2) Sometimes when Iam on call with friends...they might be going on about something and Iam only pretending to listen...iam actually busy watching a serial or reading a book - (some friends have detected this pattern and can catch me at it due to sheer experience like Suls! )
3) I thought love and relationships were only for "bad" people who did not listen to their parents till about 6 years ago.
4) I learnt about how people make babies in my 12th grade and a lot many things still puzzle me xtremly and though I pretend to understand...I don't get many A jokes in the first go!

Cute one right???

5) I have never gone through the torture of doing an upper lip simply because - its a TORTURE to get it done - i think its worse than a delivery and thats saying something!
6) I really like Justin Beiber(s) songs.
7) I have lost 3 mobiles till now - 2 in autos and 1 in Pizza hut! ( And I truly believed and believe to this day that the automan/pizza hut manager would find me and give it to me some day)
8) I failed in Maths in 5th standard! And got a belting from my dad for that - trust me - for the amount I cursed my maths teacher that day - iam surprised she didn't have an accident the next day! I expected her to come straight to me and say - Preethi - I am very sorry but the math paper was a mistake.......u have actually scored the highest!......

9) I dont like animation pictures! I feel they are stupid!I like fantasy and action movies and CANT understand HOW people can be interested in the life of a few drawings come to life!!!
10) My favourite book in the world is "Archie's comics" ...dont mistake me - all my friends know me as a voracious reader and maybe some other day I will tell you a list of all the books which have "moved" me and taught me a lesson! But now that iam on a roll and being honest - Archies it is.....and I want him...really want him to end up with Betty! and thats only after she gives him a good kick on his shin! and after he proposed to her a 50 times at least!
11) I think the person I love most in this world is my Father...after that my mother and brothers!
12) I think my parents love my brothers more than me....always....I dont know why...but I feel somewhere that if someday terrorists come home and ask for any 1 life....I would be the one easily to be killed....I know its stupid....but hey its a secret and I just had to spill it out!
13) I have wondered and been truly worried for some time that Iam a lesbian! I dont know WHY i had this doubt - maybe when I found emma watson SO VERY cute rather than admiring Cedric Diggory! (Hey its all cleared now and I am STRAIGHT without a doubt!)
14) I sometimes think iam an athiest....especially when I lost my mobiles and think that they have not yet been returned to me.....
15) I often have this recurring dream about me being dropped from a top floor and Iam falling falling...and then this super hero (Iam not sure if it is superman or Krishna in wings....) grabs me and helps me try on a parachute!
16) I also often dream of snakes (thankfully i wake up just before they bite me)...when I looked it up in the dream dictionary...it said its because I have hidden passion....well....ooooooooh!
17) There is a part of me which believes that I will get a letter from hogwarts and will be invited and i truly get nervous about the fact that I might be selected to be a slytherin!

18) I once spread a rumour about a girl in school that she had 2 boy friends.....and that she is trying for a third! (only because she stole my rabbit shaped shiny rubber and WOULDNT admit it!)
19) I had this majjjjor crush on this guy who was my first (kinda) boss only to find that he was already married with a KID!!

PHEW! That was too many confessions for one sitting!!!! My heart does feel kinda light after that!!! Guys Guys.......please remember your oath - SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I trust you and have your word of HONOR that you wont breathe a WORD!

Is this fair??

Its a void in the heart...a void which can never ever be filled with any other form of love... a void which is put there to stay...which can never be taken away...coz the love which should have caressed out the frowns and tears in a child's face at the tender age of 5 when it met with the disapproval of peers in school and tell him that he dosent have to care about the approval of the world as he has parents to love him... at the age of 13 when the first pimple burst open , to tell him that he is the most handsome child that was ever seen and that he dosent have to worry about the girls - they will surely love him...to tell him that he is a son they are proud to call their own....to have the unique sense of belongingness which only a mother's loving hug can convey...which only a beaming smile to the neighbour on boasting about her son's achievements can confirm....is all lost to a motherless child....

There is this friend of mine who lost his mother when he was about 5....and i got wondering about what he must have gone through....when the usual joys which we are granted at that age are lost to him....the beauty of a mother who gets up early in the morning anxious to fill the tiffan box of her child with the best dish possible at school so her child dosent bring back food and go hungry....of a mother who is anxious on a fancy dress competition day to dress her child up the best and turns her lovely nose on anyone who has the audacity to tell her that her child might not carry it off....a mother who kisses her child good night and spends a minute before going to bed to look and admire the beauty of her son as he sleeps....a mother who is quick to sweep away any misgivings that her son should have of not being able to achieve something dear to him....

Why dear mother....am I not good enough for you to kiss goodnight?
Am I not the one you could love and face the world to fight?
Am I not the one who can make you burst with pride?
Who I can run to in distress, in whom I can confide??
I crave to taste a delicacy you dish out just for me
I yearn to feel the touch of your fingers in my hair
I crave and yearn knowing this could never be....is this fair????

A try to detach myself from my life for a minute and think of all the attention and love I have basked in just because the director above chose to leave my mother alone and take away some one else's....why is it that without any fault of their's they are forced to lose all the beauty of childhood which is made dearer to us because of our mother's love....

Life's darkest moments are those when we face the disapproval of the world to the person that we are....those moments when we face all directions without finding a way out of the mess we can get ourselves into.....but come back home and one look at our mother;s face and we know that we have been worried in vain....that surely we have a bright future....coz without having us well settled as either a queen or a princess....surely our mother wouldn't be satisfied????

When we come home dreading our father's beating/disapproval either for our performance in a test or when we have to confess a romantic relationship....isnt it our mother's support which we bank on even if we know that she might also disapprove?....because heart of hearts dont we know that she thinks that somehow everything will sort out in the grand scheme of things and that only the best of things can happen to her child??.....

I picture a sunday morning when i lazily walk upto the kitchen to order for a coffee and when my mother hands it over to me....to pull her down back on the sofa and grab a newspaper and read the paper with my head on her lap and discuss the headlines and gossip about the goings on in Bollywood....of course punctuated by mom's comments on how everyone is worthless and how she thinks that my father and I are the only rays of bright light in this world!!!:-)

Mothers!!!!! Why ? Why does god have to rob a child of this most beautiful love that he can ever have? This is the nearest translation of god's love that a child can ever have...every other relationship demands something in return but a mother's .....well poets and playwrights have told enough on mother's love that I suspect there is much left to say on this subject.....
My only question is... when god says that since he couldnt be everywhere and thats why sent mothers to earth....why did he decide to rob a few children of this birthright??? Does he not love them as he loves the others???

Rudyard Kipling sure got it right when he said....

If I were hanged on the highest hill,
Mother o' mine, O mother o' mine!
I know whose love would follow me still,
Mother o' mine, O mother o' mine!

If I were drowned in the deepest sea,
Mother o' mine, O mother o' mine!
I know whose tears would come down to me,
Mother o' mine, O mother o' mine!

f I were damned of body and soul,
I know whose prayers would make me whole,
Mother o' mine, O mother o' mine!

I do not know whether I should thank god for having given a mother to those who he has or to shed a tear and curse him for those who he deprived of this pure love.... But can I trust in your benevolence to believe that you will somehow make it upto them in your boundless love and kindness by showering them with pure love in one form or the other sooner or later in their life???

The beauuuuuty of laziness and carelessness:-)

Well....what can I say....as soon as anyone who knows me looks at the title of this post...they will go...ooooooooh...thats so like Preethi....cant think of who could be a better embodiment of laziness or carelessness than her. I remember when I was in college and part of the insititute band....I was a percussionist (i WILL never know how they trusted me to be in the band...gods grace indeed)...and we were having parctice sessions night and day....welll here's the thing....make a lazy girl do all the hard work and she is gonna flip out and be careless...what else did they expect??? I was sleepy and I think there was a call for refreshments....I rushed without giving a second thought to the precarious position in which my drums were...they were at a 60 degree angle from the slopy ground and slid smoothly from the stand and bounced and bounced and bounced their way to their god given destination....my band teacher's feet!!!

Lemme take u back a bit and give u an intro to KB Maam - she was god's way of keeping me in check....if there was a breeze of seriosuness in me during my ATP stay...it was coz of her....she knew exactly the things to say which would remind us that there was a world beyond ATP and that I would be a complete failure in it....well not exactly a boost to my ego but there it was:-)

Now back to the story...while the drum was on its fated journey to her feet, her eyes blossommed and bloomed till I knew that my future was at stake....and then...she uttered those fateful words which stuck like a brand to me for the rest of my life..."PREETHI....CARELESSNESS IS YOUR BRAND....u just cant seem to help it".

Well u get the picture of how the rest of the evening went....

Why did I narrate this to you?...well....u see...this is only a tiny speck of my various conquests on the phenomenon of "carelessness"....and the fact that I have lost around 3 mobiles in increasingly novel methods will bear a testament to my conquest.....I even feel a pang of jealousy when someone else is branded careless in my presence.....hey dont u dare insult me....coz on a scale of 10 in carelessness.. welll Iam beyond count so u cant limit my abilities to a mere numeric scale:-)

Now for the laziness....u know I have seen different kinds of laziness....but my father puts things into perspective when he calls me the "put it into my pocket" girl!! To tell you the story of this infamous label...lemme take u back to the time when the poeple on this planet held competitions to identify a person who would be the benchmark for laziness:-)...after a lot of screening and filtering...3 of them were decided as the finalists...they decided to hold a felicitation ceremony for the winners and called them over....the third prize winner went up to the stage and recieved his medal and returned to his blissfull slumber....the second place winner took his prize and dozed off on stage....but the first place winner.....who was in deep hibernation....opened his eyes for a second when his name was announced and wehn called on to the stage to recieve his award....in semi slumber state murmured..."put it into my pocket"......and went back to sleep:-)

So u get the picture...its just that sleep comes more naturally to me than say.....work:-)

All my friends will surely remember what happened in all my classes in college where the lecturer even dropped a millimetre in their standards of arousing my interest to stay awake in class.....my dear fellow lazibums.....herez a message for you ....and its just between us..."Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy." and Iam sure that says a lot into what my ideals in life are:-)......well....dear darling dreams...here I come!

Hope.....disappointments and ......life!!!

My stomach is hollow, not its just non existent and my intestines have decided to make a pilgrimage around the length and breadth of my stomach...my tear glands have suddenly gone numb coz they dont wanna give solace to me through their generous supply...coz if they did...it would all just wash my heart clean...no no, they wouldnt allow it....and that philisophical carpet which hides the true human tendencies like dejection and despair is hard at work covering all my true feelings.
I hate it....hate the feeling of having lost it, having relinquished power .....sorry, having no power - coz u should have some power to reinquish it....having ever felt happy and having built expectation on something which I should have known would never ever ever ever come to pass...and this flushing disappointment is all the more unbearbale coz, deep in my heart, I always have felt that this beautiful thing would happen....and now for a fact, I KNOW....that it didnt. now howz that for some sunshine in a miserable life......???
Hehehe...I feel like laughing at my own words....i have never ever been dejected for more than 5 - 10 minutes....they just breeze past my life....but then there are some nagging undercuurents which u cant ignore how much ever you want to....I cant get rid of them how much ever I try ....coz I know...that this is the ideal state...and like the most natural thing in the world....like evevry other human being.....i still hope and feel that it will happen....hehehe yes right....it looks like a viscious circle indeed.....
Funny how the most lonely moments in my life have always been when I have been totally surrounded with people.....funny how my simple wish to belong....has been soooooo tough to fulfill....funny how when I so totally wanna cry......all I feel is a numb ache in my.....is it heart....looks like its all over my body.....and yes...I totally hate the priciple on which this world was formed.....well if god really wanted a play ground....he should have gotten some videogames....its sheer saddistic to create beings who can get depressed, angry, jealous, wild, hopeless etc... all at once....I mean....what does he think he is playing at?
I wish I could hate him with all my heart....problem is I cant....not because of a philosophical realization that he does everythin for my good.....its coz.....I just cant.....its like....crushing every last little ray of hope in life !!!u cant even if you wanna...it just permeates you unconsciously and refuses (damn it!!) to let go......why cant he allow me to hate him in peace...
I wish I could hate you ....coz you alone are capabale of setting things right...but u WONT do it...I know....something about having to face life and free will comes into it I guess....crap.....I wish to hell that I had a magic wand and could create myself a new world....and what would I create in it??? New people....HAPPY people....lovely people, loving people.....ooooooooh!!! now that sounds like heaven.....with waterfalls and wooden floors nd orchards and sculptures and italian restaraunts and free shopping malls and louis vitton gifts and ......what not...hey stop it....no its not you....its just this stupid voice inside my head....it wants to write something too....hell its just the usual boring conscience speaking I guess....its telling me....."do u really think god didn't create all this and more for you??? is it his fault that you dont even stop to look at the lovely sunset that he spent hours drawing up for you???is it his fault that u choose to seek love instead of give love all the time??? Is it his fault that you choose meaningless relationships when you should be bulding the foundation of a strong mansion???Well....I still feel that its mainly his fault....after all.....yeah ...these cute words are fine...but when the real stuff hits you....none of this works....sunset looke like badly made coffee and true love brings only sad memories.....should it really be this bad???
I dont know.....they say that "God has a plan for you and thts all you need to know"...well whatever his plan is.....its got me this far....some good times and some terrible times, some funny and some embarrassing, some loving and some heartless, some beautiful and some mirror cracking....well....I've just gotta trust in the plan I guess....coz thats the beauty of hope and thats the smile that he tries to bring to you.....I just wish he were as talented in leaving it there....maybe he will.....u never know....maybe its not the right time.....
Welll...you know...after all he created sleep, dreams and friends....he cant be all that bad....must be an ok sorta guy....lets see....I guess he covers the delicacies of my life with a plain white cloth so that when he opens the cover....they become all the more lovely, surprising and tasty....
Ok....guess Iam gonna hold on for some more time .....dude with the halo.....do something fast....your time's seriously running out.....and yeah......i may still like ya....so lonnnnnnng!!!!!

All things Wise and Wonderful...

There is just one person that I have dreamt about and still do dream about - that I should be atleast a little like him when I grow up....just a fraction of his immense intelligence, a pinch of his kindness, honesty, straightforwardness, helpfulness, smartness, diligence....and most importantly his boundless talent in the realm of Music....( I am comletely convinced that Jesudas is just nowhere when compared to him and you must just hear him once to know that iam telling nothing but the actual truth)He is all that is wise and all that is wonderful to me - he is my "Daddy"
I can see you scowling pa, as I write this - how you hate me to call you "daddy" - and secretly I agree too...when we have such endearing terms like Appa and "Naina", why should "Daddy" even enter our conversations....but Iam helpless pa....I just looooooove that look on your face when I call you "daddy" :-)... I think that the best part of you is that you are just there....always...not that u have much of a choice....and so u can't really complain... esp. when iam hell bent on making the dumbest of decisions, or when iam totally blank as to what in the wide canopy I should do to get out of a situation....I can always depend on myself to move heaven and earth just not to listen to you at times....Coz u see...in my blissful frog's well, I am The most sensible and intelligent person and you are just a base obstacle to my path of glory.....heheheh.....
I just shudder to think of the complete catastrophe that my life would have been if you were not just there, firmly and sternly, like an oak, just so that i can climb over you to get a glimpse of the Sun.....You know what pa...I have still not gotten out of the phase where I used to fight with my friends saying..."MY DADDY STRONGEST":-)....I just cant contain myself at any opportunity where I can show u off and boast to the world's end about your "this" and your "that"....and the wierd thing is...I just dont seem to run out of topics at all when iam talking bout u....and as iam writing this...iam just wishing that you never get to see this....you might just feel off to too much you know....and I cant take your "attitude" after that:-)
Just the other day,me and my friends were talking about you suddenly shifting to Delhi leaving me here (booooooohooooooo)....and they we like, 'hey yur parents have really taken care of every small detail before they have left u and now all you have to do is eat and sleep - you have a cook, a maid, a lovely room for urself and to cap it all, a tailor!!!'. And I realised how much u must trust actually my stupidity for you to go to that much detail in planning for me....well hats off to u pa....
You have no idea how much i miss your scoldings, your loving "kuttus" on my already damaged head, you calling me "Soorpa" (all mu buddies know why, dont u? :-)), the sound of your voice floating across the house in the form of carnatic, hindustani, bollywood, gollywood....what not?? I shall never forget the day when u just crinked your eyebrows a little over my pioneering attempt to make rasam.....and casually asked Amma if there was something missing in the rasam.....well....when I discovered that I had actually added Vangi bath powder (a south indian Brinjal Rice delicacy) instead of Rasam powder, I can never get over the way you, Adu and Seshu (my 2 Bros) teased me to death.....(I still bear the scar of that event - I cant make Rasam without u/adu/seshu checking with me if I double checked whether I really added Rasam powder or.......XXXXX)And I must mention here that Ammu kutti is the darling - she will always find the food I cook nice - even if it tastes like shoe polish!!!.......sigh........Its just a huge void pa, and its something which has no substitute...coz its a class apart. You have the world's best sense of humour and I often wonder....is there something that you are not good at??.......I dont think so.....!!!!!
To every Girl, her dad's a Hero - and Appa - you are mine. Love you and miss you loads:-)