Saturday, May 28, 2011

Tagore...

MUCH have you given to me,
Yet I ask for more.
I come to you not merely for the

draught of water, but for the


spring ;

Not for guidance to the door alone,

but to the Master's hall ; not only


for the gift of love, but for the


lover himself.

There are some things which make our heart brim and overflow with emotion....it takes a Taare Zameen Par, an MS rendition of "kurai ondrum illai", an orange and pink filled morning sky with the sun at the horizon, the sound of a sanskrit shlok in a foreign land or a Tagore poem.... The above one I read about 7 years ago and it has stayed etched on gold in my memory.....from its sheer beauty of expression!

This poem actually got me reading about Tagore and his works and I was rewarded with a few more nuggets from his compositions....i dedicate this post to Tagore and the emotions that accompany every rendition of his....

A handsome portrait indeed! Well what is to be said of this great poet, writer, playwright, social reformer and educationist that has not been written about and said before?
He started writing poems from the age of 7! In fact, Tagore has never been stable for too long...a man of varied interests and ideas, he found that he could not root himself to a single spot for too long. Right from his schooling days, he found that he was not comfortable with the conventional education methods and preferred having governesses come home to teach him...
He then planned to complete his college education from England and set sail for this purpose westward but returned back to India before completing his college as he wanted to be with this family!

You hide yourself in your own glory,
my King.

The sand-grain and the dew-drop are
more proudly apparent than your-
self.

The world unabashed calls all things
its own that are yours yet it is
never brought to shame.

You make room for us while standing
aside in silence; therefore love
lights her own lamp to seek you
and comes to your worship un-
bidden.

&

WHEN from the house of feast I came
back home, the spell of the mid-
night quieted the dance in my
blood.

My heart became silent at once like
a deserted theatre with its lamps
out.

My mind crossed the dark and stood
among the stars, and I saw that
we were playing unafraid in the
silent courtyard of our King's
palace.


Wow! It would surely take a person who has truly realized and felt the unfathomable love of the creator above to be able to express himself as eloquently as this! He was of course drawn to disapprove any act of inhuman proportions which made him repudiate his knighthood in his historic letter to Lord Chelmsford in 1919 as a protest against the barbaric Jallianwallabagh massacre - an act which must have twisted the chords in the heart of a delicate and sensitive character which he expresses himself as through his poems...
NONE needs be thrust aside to make
room for you.

When love prepares your seat she
prepares it for all.

Where the earthly King appears,
guards keep out the crowd, but
when you come, my King, the
whole world comes in your wake
.


His sense of a loving and fair world was what made him a part of the freedom fight as this was against his natural instincts of love and humanity!

MY songs are the same as are the spring

flowers, they come from you.
Yet I bring these to you as my own.
You smile and accept them, and you

are glad at my joy of pride.
If my song flowers are frail and they

fade and drop in the dust, I shall

never grieve.
For absence is not loss in your hand,

and the fugitive moments that

blossom in beauty are kept ever

fresh in your wreath.


How true! A realization that nothing can be regarded as our own in an ephemeral world must have prodded him to actually initiate funding and establish his attempt at a lasting educational institution through which he tried to immortalize a convergence of Indian and western philosophy! A true visionary he was indeed who realized that imitating cultures was a waste and that true development could be achieved only by a synergy of ideas from the orient and the Occident!

You allowed your kingly power to
vanish, Shajahan, but your wish was
to make imperishable a tear-drop of
love.

Time has no pity for the human
heart, he laughs at its sad struggle to
remember.

You allured him with beauty, made
him captive, and crowned the formless
death with fadeless form.

he secret whispered in the hush of
night to the ear of your love is wrought
in the perpetual silence of stone.

Though empires crumble to dust,

and centuries are lost in shadows, the

marble still sighs to the stars, " I
remember."

" I remember." But life forgets,
for she has her call to the Endless :
and she goes on her voyage un-
burdened, leaving her memories to
the forlorn forms of beauty.

What better tribute can the Tajmahal hope to have than these immortalized words of Tagore, as beautiful as the monument itself! While historians may satisfy their cynicism by pointing out that the Taj can hardly be considered to be an of the love of a man for one woman, and can more likely be accounted for as the work of an unrealistic monarch infatuated with his own grandeur, it truly takes a belief in the warmth and love that humanity has left in it, to credit the intentions behind the making of the Taj to pure love as attributed by Tagore in these verses!

HER neighbours call her dark in the
village but she is a lily to my heart,
yes, a lily though not fair. Light
came muffled with clouds when first
I saw her in the field ; her head was
bare, her veil was off, her braided hair
hanging loose on her neck. She may
be dark as they say in the village, but
I have seen her black eyes and am
glad.

The pulse of the air boded storm.
She rushed out of the hut when she
heard her dappled cow low in dismay.
For a moment she turned her large
eyes to the clouds, and felt a stir of the
coming rain in the sky. I stood at
the corner of the rice-field, if she
noticed me, it was known only to her
(and perhaps I know it). She is dark as
the message of the shower in summer,
dark as the shade of the flowering wood-
land ; she is dark as the longing for
unknown love in the wistful night of
May.

The romantic in tagore is rampant in these verses as he describes the inner beauty in woman that he so admired and worshipped! Makes me wonder what a delight he must have been as a partner to Mrinalini Devi, his consort through life!

THOU hast given me thy seat at thy
window from the early hour.

I have spoken to thy silent servants
of the road running on thy
errands, and have sung with thy
choir of the sky.

I have seen the sea in calm bearing
its immeasurable silence, and in
storm struggling to break open
its own mystery of depth.

I have watched the earth in its pro-
digal feast of youth, and in its
slow hours of brooding shadows.

Those who went to sow seeds have
heard my greetings, and those
who brought their harvest home
or their empty baskets have passed
by my songs.

Thus at last my day has ended and
now in the evening I sing my last
song to say that I have loved thy
world.


So sang the man who breathed his last after having loved and enjoyed his transient stay in this playground of the lord....he had played his best - a gentleman's game, and now lives on in the hearts of all those who worship his expression of thought, beauty and romance!

Is this fair??

Its a void in the heart...a void which can never ever be filled with any other form of love... a void which is put there to stay...which can never be taken away...coz the love which should have caressed out the frowns and tears in a child's face at the tender age of 5 when it met with the disapproval of peers in school and tell him that he dosent have to care about the approval of the world as he has parents to love him... at the age of 13 when the first pimple burst open , to tell him that he is the most handsome child that was ever seen and that he dosent have to worry about the girls - they will surely love him...to tell him that he is a son they are proud to call their own....to have the unique sense of belongingness which only a mother's loving hug can convey...which only a beaming smile to the neighbour on boasting about her son's achievements can confirm....is all lost to a motherless child....

There is this friend of mine who lost his mother when he was about 5....and i got wondering about what he must have gone through....when the usual joys which we are granted at that age are lost to him....the beauty of a mother who gets up early in the morning anxious to fill the tiffan box of her child with the best dish possible at school so her child dosent bring back food and go hungry....of a mother who is anxious on a fancy dress competition day to dress her child up the best and turns her lovely nose on anyone who has the audacity to tell her that her child might not carry it off....a mother who kisses her child good night and spends a minute before going to bed to look and admire the beauty of her son as he sleeps....a mother who is quick to sweep away any misgivings that her son should have of not being able to achieve something dear to him....

Why dear mother....am I not good enough for you to kiss goodnight?
Am I not the one you could love and face the world to fight?
Am I not the one who can make you burst with pride?
Who I can run to in distress, in whom I can confide??
I crave to taste a delicacy you dish out just for me
I yearn to feel the touch of your fingers in my hair
I crave and yearn knowing this could never be....is this fair????

A try to detach myself from my life for a minute and think of all the attention and love I have basked in just because the director above chose to leave my mother alone and take away some one else's....why is it that without any fault of their's they are forced to lose all the beauty of childhood which is made dearer to us because of our mother's love....

Life's darkest moments are those when we face the disapproval of the world to the person that we are....those moments when we face all directions without finding a way out of the mess we can get ourselves into.....but come back home and one look at our mother;s face and we know that we have been worried in vain....that surely we have a bright future....coz without having us well settled as either a queen or a princess....surely our mother wouldn't be satisfied????

When we come home dreading our father's beating/disapproval either for our performance in a test or when we have to confess a romantic relationship....isnt it our mother's support which we bank on even if we know that she might also disapprove?....because heart of hearts dont we know that she thinks that somehow everything will sort out in the grand scheme of things and that only the best of things can happen to her child??.....

I picture a sunday morning when i lazily walk upto the kitchen to order for a coffee and when my mother hands it over to me....to pull her down back on the sofa and grab a newspaper and read the paper with my head on her lap and discuss the headlines and gossip about the goings on in Bollywood....of course punctuated by mom's comments on how everyone is worthless and how she thinks that my father and I are the only rays of bright light in this world!!!:-)

Mothers!!!!! Why ? Why does god have to rob a child of this most beautiful love that he can ever have? This is the nearest translation of god's love that a child can ever have...every other relationship demands something in return but a mother's .....well poets and playwrights have told enough on mother's love that I suspect there is much left to say on this subject.....
My only question is... when god says that since he couldnt be everywhere and thats why sent mothers to earth....why did he decide to rob a few children of this birthright??? Does he not love them as he loves the others???

Rudyard Kipling sure got it right when he said....

If I were hanged on the highest hill,
Mother o' mine, O mother o' mine!
I know whose love would follow me still,
Mother o' mine, O mother o' mine!

If I were drowned in the deepest sea,
Mother o' mine, O mother o' mine!
I know whose tears would come down to me,
Mother o' mine, O mother o' mine!

f I were damned of body and soul,
I know whose prayers would make me whole,
Mother o' mine, O mother o' mine!

I do not know whether I should thank god for having given a mother to those who he has or to shed a tear and curse him for those who he deprived of this pure love.... But can I trust in your benevolence to believe that you will somehow make it upto them in your boundless love and kindness by showering them with pure love in one form or the other sooner or later in their life???

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

The key to the pacific - Part II

On 7th April 2011 I landed in Singapore! The flight was pretty good and I enjoyed myself. the Longest flight journey ended and I was in Singapore around 5:00pm. It was a heady feeling to land in Singapore! The first footstep outside Indian soil....I didn't know what to expect, I had so may anticipations, anxieties, questions and fears...I just packed everything inside and let out a quick prayer to Swami..... Lucky I had that solace....whatever I went through, I knew I had him to take care of me and get me out of any rubbish that I was sure to get myself into:-)

I have never thought before, what it means to live outside the umbrella of my family....even in bangalore, it was still my home with friends made through the years....for the first time in my life, i was completely on my own!! I had to make a mark here! I had to prove to myself and to everyone that I was capable of taking my life in my hands and living it reasonably well - it was my first ever chance to do so! and Boy! Did I think it was going to be easy??? I COULDN'T have been more mistaken!

I have always loved my family and friends but their real worth came to the fore after I came here where I had a taste of life trying to start all from scratch! An adventure it was!! and a learning package it suuuuuuuure was!!!

Let me tell you about some people I met here who have been a treasured collection to my circle of acquaintance.

Vidya and Family and Chikko -The first few people I met after stepping foot in this country! A family of talent and fun! Vidya is just a package of fun and laughter who can talk about anything and everything at any point of time! She has this X factor which makes anyone who comes into her life feel at home! She freely gives love and accepts whatever comes her way- and she has been an amazing support me when I really needed help- when disaster of the worst sort hit my life and when all directions looked bleak with hopelessness to me! She offered her love and companionship so unconditionally that I felt that I wouldn't get lost here and that I do have a shoulder to cry on! Vighnesh is a powerhouse of talent and left me in a jaw dropping position once I heard his prowess in Carnatic Music. He has an amazing thirst for knowledge and I look forward to being a part of the future in which he is sure to prove himself! Ravi compliments Vidya and both are a great couple! But Ravi - if you ever read this - I can NEVER understand HOW u dont like KAMAL HASSAN!!!! Choti is a cutie and what with her accent and her tastes, she almost feels like a European addition to the family - a cute and shy and lovely addition....and of course - I cant miss out on Chikko - the family's pet - their love and pride! Their every conversation is suffixed with, Chikko don't go there, Chikko this is not for you - come on! you have already had your dinner, Ravi - don't give that chocolate to Chikko - you know its no good for him! Its wonderful to see this family come together from different poles with their love for this cute pet! And he is such a smart guy - he just knows how he should play his cards and win all their love!

Rithin - A flatmate who has been a real boon! When I first met Rithin, we didn't really have a vibe which we struck off with initially - I met her at office and at a disc and she seemed like a distant acquaintance who was still somehow familiar in this foreign land....
I came to really know her when we moved to the apartment...and truly - to know Rithin is to Love her! I dont know what you thought of me in the beginning or what you still think of me Rithin....but if you ever read this...u will know that you have made it to my inner circle of friends - Congratulations(hehehe I can almost hear your scowl!)
I am yet to see a person who lives life at her own terms even after being bogged with so many responsibilities and relationships! She has the handsomest son in the world and Iam sure she is a wonderful mother as I have seen the expression in her eyes as she looks at his pictures which her loving husband sends her everyday! She has a sense of justice in her which will astonish a person if they are prejudiced by her initial chatter! but Boy! Beware of her resentment - her good opinion once lost - is very difficult to regain! Rithin - I know you are leaving in a few days - but you should certainly know that I have learnt a lot about life in listening to you (the learning includes cooking and thanks for saving me from dying of starvation!) and iam certain that this is a friendship we shall hold for a long time to come! Thanks for letting me be a part of your life!

Situation Room - Anyone who has been a part of the situation room would know why I refer to it as a person - its got this quality to it which makes me feel like it has an identity of its own...an identity put together by the "Situation room girls"! An atmosphere of fun, gossip, quiet, friendship and seriousness all put into one amazing package! I would indeed be sorry to leave this room - a place which has seen the triumphs of many a victorious recruiter and many a farewell and welcome! A place which we collect into at 5:00pm everyday to discuss the day's numbers! A place which for me translates into Accenture Singapore itself as I have worked and moved for most part of my time in the situation room alone!

Well - I do have some more acquaintances to introduce...but its 12:oo am and I really need a good night;s rest - I will be waiting to meet you tomorrow to complete the story!

So Looooooooong!

Monday, May 23, 2011

A new era....in the key to the pacific! Part 1

WOW!!! I never imagined that this would happen to me! When I joined my company on Sep 2008, and they told us that the toppers in the PG batch would be going abroad AND be given a double promotion AND be given a felicitation ceremony....my only thoughts as I remember them are wonderment as to who would be the lucky ones who would win such glorious things! never had so much as an inkling that I was even in the running for such destiny!

And come August 2008, when I heard my name on my convocation stage, as the third topper in my batch.....well....they say when god gives, he gives tearing down the roof! ELATION was what I felt that day when I went on stage! I mean...who would have thought that this dumb, wierd, careless girl with hair which is never under her control, could actually have done THAT!!! I for sure never did! And with this came the realization that I would also be going ABROAD!! I mean...i dont know how it is for you but for me, going abroad and that too as a reward for 2 years of slavery was a dream come true...only it was a dream I never dared to dream about!!

I remember I jumped about 3 feet into the air the day I saw Debapriya's ( My HR) ping about 6 months later, saying that my assignment has been confirmed to "Singapore"!!! My DREAM destination, my mother;s dream destination!!! She always said that she would love to see SIngapore...its a place where much of her family is connected with!! and poor thing she hasnt really had the chance to travel abroad much other than a 4 day China trip that she made recently after my father's relocation to China became confirmed!
Anyways thats another story and something I will probably tell you in some or the other of my subsequent posts!!

The flurry of activity as the day came nearer was too much for me to handle, not beacuse it was too much activity but because it carried with it an anticipation of happiness that I was too anxious should not be shattered once I landed! SO every time I had a jump of happiness about the trip, I had to pat myself down and tell myself that I should prove to be deserving of this beautiful gift that Swami had gifted me with! And so I spent my time over hauling my wardrobe as I had heard that only formal clothing was allowed here! I spent like about 15000Rs on clothing alone!! I mean - come on I am travelling abroad for like the first time - I COULDNT not be prepared right??!!! My friend Anwesha was such a darling - she was with me through and through - I mean - from selecting the shops where I could get the right stuff to telling me what looked good on me and what didnt! I could have got through half the stuff that I had to do without her. Such a darl she is!

And then the unthinkable happened! On my Bday, just when I was thinking about leaving all the familiar faces for another 3-4 months., my darling friend Suls turned up from Chennai!
She just had to - I mean - anyone who knows what she means to me would completely agree!

we had a wonderful time when she was here - we went to Deepa's place and had great fun there being teased by her oh! so pretty sister and parents!
And then....we went back to my place to celebrate my bday (belated) with about a dozen kids from the colony! They are such darlings come to think of it - my weekends in Singapore would seem almost incomplete without them!

And then after a lightning streak visit to Delhi, I ended my wait and Preethi Mohan's first ever trip outside the Indian soil was about to begin!!!!

Saturday, May 21, 2011

There is love....and then there is a divine romance!

Its a love story that was told from the beginning of time! Its a love story that has captured the fancy of many a heroic Romeo! Its a love story that came to us before we knew the meaning of love! A love story that showed us love isn't given to us to stay- love isn't love at all untill its given away!

And who better to live this love story than the embodiment of love himself! A guy every girl fancies in her heart of hearts! a guy that tipped the first stirrings of love and passion in many a damsel's mind! The guy who told his mother so fearlessly and still lovingly - "Mother, is it wrong to love a girl, who from the minute she met me, has breathed only because she wanted to live to see me, has sang only because her heart strung melodies of her love for me, has cried only because of her fear of losing me and has lived only so she could have a chance to live her life with me; Mother - do you think it would be my Dharma to forsake an innocent milkmaid just because she has given me her all?!!"

The eloquence of his love brought tears in the eyes of his mother not because she thought she was going to lose her son, but because she knew that the time had come for her expand her heart and accept that her son, her beloved Kanha, had grown up! and grown up just the way she wished to see him one day when she has held his tender fingers all those years ago in his crib! She had done well by him! and Boy! was she proud!

There are times when one meets or hears of something so beautiful that it leaves a lingering but pleasurable heart ache, the kind that flutters faster than the wings of a bird, the eyelashes of a coquettish damsel! Every time I have heard or read about Radha and Krishna, I have this same lingering heartache with the childhood fancy that I too will have my Kanha some day!

How tender and unconditional must have been his love for Radha when he told her that as a standing example of their love through time, his name would always be preceded by hers - "Radha Krishna! and NEVER Krishna Radha!"because to him, it was always only about her before everything else! She was his joy! his inspiration and the only bride that he could not win for himself - not because she did not love him, but because she loved him more than he loved himself! Because she could not bear the thought of a day when she should no longer be his joy and innocent hope when he battled with the vices and responsibilities of his new found royal life! She combined the innocence of a village milkmaid with the independence of an urban upbringing when she faced him, her fierce love shining in her eyes and said ," Kanha, I cannot love you more than I do now , because I have given you my all! I have nothing left to give but my love for you which I treasure beyond life itself! Kanha, by asking me to come with you to Mathura, you ask me to sacrifice the love I have built as an altar for you, as I know you now! In Mathura, amidst all the royal manipulations and
strategems, I would no longer be your inspiration for pure innocence and purity that Iam now - I would be a misfit there!"
"Kanha, you have a role to fullfill, and I will not stand in your path! Likewise do not rip my love for you and force me to morph into royalty,I will not be who I want to be for you if you tear me away from myself!

Kanha, reached his height of an exemplary lover when he looked with great respect and love at Radha and said " Your love for me Radha, cannot be matched! If this be your decision, I also have an offering to make at your altar of love" and he handed his flute to her , never to lift it again even as the thousand melodies the venugopala had blown into them breezed their memories! Such is his love, that if he ceases to be the person we love, he ceases to be that person itself!

As Francesca puts it so well " Give me a man who is man enough to give himself only to the woman who is worth him! And I will love him , forever!" There is indeed no great wonder in Radha giving her all to Kanha - for he gave himself to her in a way indescribably beautiful - he let her be the person that she wanted to be! And gave her the freedom to love him the way she wanted him to be! Even though it meant their physical separation, he NEVER looked back! For what greater sacrifice could be than the sacrifice of true love itself for your beloved?! For Kanha, it wasnt a sacrifice! It was only tipping the scales to move into a higher platform of love that you and I may never be able to comprehend, unless we feel in totality the wonderful love that was theirs!

There is an old Hindi song which goes...."Ek radha Ek Meera; Dono ne Shyam ko Chaha; Anthar kya dono ke preeth me bolo - ek jeeth na maana ek Haar na Maana"
( There was Radha and then there was Meera, both of them loved Shyama, what is the difference in their love? One did not accept Success and one did not accept defeat!)

When I first read these lines, I was puzzled! What did these lines mean? And then a dear friend told me - maybe its like this - With Meera - she had to undergo a thousand tests and obstacles to prove her love for Krishna and all through her life, whatever her troubles, she NEVER accepted defeat! And through never accepting defeat, won over her Giridhara nagar!
However Radha, all through her life, battled for the victory of her Kanha and never accepted any advantageous offering of marriage from Kanha - only so he could win and succeed in his mission! And By NEVER accepting the success of power of her love over him , she won over her Kanha!

Ye Bhool Kaise karoon mein - mein bhool jaaon tujhko! Mein kho bhi jaaon kahin tho...tum dooond lena mujhko - tera mera - mera tera rishta bana....sabse juda!

Love you Kanha!
Publish Post

Friday, September 10, 2010

The beauuuuuty of laziness and carelessness:-)

Well....what can I say....as soon as anyone who knows me looks at the title of this post...they will go...ooooooooh...thats so like Preethi....cant think of who could be a better embodiment of laziness or carelessness than her. I remember when I was in college and part of the insititute band....I was a percussionist (i WILL never know how they trusted me to be in the band...gods grace indeed)...and we were having parctice sessions night and day....welll here's the thing....make a lazy girl do all the hard work and she is gonna flip out and be careless...what else did they expect??? I was sleepy and I think there was a call for refreshments....I rushed without giving a second thought to the precarious position in which my drums were...they were at a 60 degree angle from the slopy ground and slid smoothly from the stand and bounced and bounced and bounced their way to their god given destination....my band teacher's feet!!!

Lemme take u back a bit and give u an intro to KB Maam - she was god's way of keeping me in check....if there was a breeze of seriosuness in me during my ATP stay...it was coz of her....she knew exactly the things to say which would remind us that there was a world beyond ATP and that I would be a complete failure in it....well not exactly a boost to my ego but there it was:-)

Now back to the story...while the drum was on its fated journey to her feet, her eyes blossommed and bloomed till I knew that my future was at stake....and then...she uttered those fateful words which stuck like a brand to me for the rest of my life..."PREETHI....CARELESSNESS IS YOUR BRAND....u just cant seem to help it".

Well u get the picture of how the rest of the evening went....

Why did I narrate this to you?...well....u see...this is only a tiny speck of my various conquests on the phenomenon of "carelessness"....and the fact that I have lost around 3 mobiles in increasingly novel methods will bear a testament to my conquest.....I even feel a pang of jealousy when someone else is branded careless in my presence.....hey dont u dare insult me....coz on a scale of 10 in carelessness.. welll Iam beyond count so u cant limit my abilities to a mere numeric scale:-)

Now for the laziness....u know I have seen different kinds of laziness....but my father puts things into perspective when he calls me the "put it into my pocket" girl!! To tell you the story of this infamous label...lemme take u back to the time when the poeple on this planet held competitions to identify a person who would be the benchmark for laziness:-)...after a lot of screening and filtering...3 of them were decided as the finalists...they decided to hold a felicitation ceremony for the winners and called them over....the third prize winner went up to the stage and recieved his medal and returned to his blissfull slumber....the second place winner took his prize and dozed off on stage....but the first place winner.....who was in deep hibernation....opened his eyes for a second when his name was announced and wehn called on to the stage to recieve his award....in semi slumber state murmured..."put it into my pocket"......and went back to sleep:-)

So u get the picture...its just that sleep comes more naturally to me than say.....work:-)

All my friends will surely remember what happened in all my classes in college where the lecturer even dropped a millimetre in their standards of arousing my interest to stay awake in class.....my dear fellow lazibums.....herez a message for you ....and its just between us..."Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy." and Iam sure that says a lot into what my ideals in life are:-)......well....dear darling dreams...here I come!