He is the darling of millions, the ever elusive but always approachable, dear to kids as a partner in crime, adolescents and as one who lived with his heart on his sleeve and to the more seasoned as one who loved with all his heart and and experienced joy in every moment of traversing the treacherous peaks and valleys that is life.
To me today, he came as a surprise. I have been on a spree of Devi and Shiva madness for a few years now, and eagerly lapping up the treasure house of embodied spirituality that is Sivavakkiyar and his poems that are a proof of his having experienced a dimension of life as yet unknown to me. I was all for the mysterious, austere and ethereal aura that Shiva and Devi held for me, while the pleasantness and apparent openness of the Krishna or Vasudeva aspect felt too...wholesome!
I have recently been on a journey of self healing that began with me taking a career break after 21 years and putting myself and my health above what I felt everyone needed from me. Life works in complex spirals and so no one incident is incidental but a cog in the multispiral machinism fuelled by my karma patterns. So naturally, this part of my life also held the space for me to heal aspects of my inner child amidst the layering of happenstances with the kind of fortuitousness that only comes together through grace and providence. So while a huge part of the healing still remains in my future, starting this journey seems to have signalled something to the energy systems that are our sanatan, that maybe I'm ready for the energy that is the source of the force of attraction - the energy with which if anything comes into contact, blooms into an expanse of love from every direction, the kind of love that resembles what we see and idolise on earth with every human relationship as well as the ethereal kind that is left uncherished but desired by the smallest, forgotten but ever-present voids in the deepest recesses of our existence.
The day started with me wishing Krishna soon as I my sleep left me, which in itself is endearing considering I struggle with memory. I then started my day with the best of Krishna Sadhana woven into my everyday Sadhana and was rewarded with hours of being on the "Plane", as well as with the thought and action of pulling me to the closest Swami Narayan temple where Janmashtami was being celebrated. I reached the mandir and it took me a while to make sense of the goings on as the blinds were pulled on all the central murthis. I sat down for a bout of meditation and told Krishna to take care of my knees as they troubled me so when I sat cross legged for a bit longer. The energy of pure and wondrous maternity hit me when I got up to pull the Jhoola of the lord seated as a butter mongering child! It hit me with such vivacity that I couldn't stop the tears and had to exercise a modicum of control to keep myself from howling in joy, maternity and spiritual hunger to know him more and better and take him with me!
The tears and the howling didn't stop for the next couple hours as I spent them listening to his pastimes and his pervasive endearing, aspirational and wondrous essence throughout the story of his advent and life as per Bhagavatham. My own sweet little experience of Krishna consciousness continued for the next few days and something tells me he is here to stay! And wouldn't that be just wonderful!
